Random thought at 2am

You know, its kinda ridiculous when people judge other people because of something that they can't control or is hard to control.
For example, gender. I know that most people are against homosexuality because of religion aspect, but it is right for them to mentally and physically abused those kind of people? I mean you guys did dislike them because of your religion, but does your religion asked you to hit them or embarass them in the public or take their right away? I'm pretty sure no. So why do you do that?
Okay enough about religion. Let take example in my perspective instead.

I like to dance. I really like to dance. Like, dance in general, not just kpop dance cover. I want to create some badass or cool choreograph and impress people with it. But those kind of things is kinda impossible for me you know? It not just because environment or money problem, as surprising as this could be, that's not even half of my problem. It probably only like 20% of my problem.
My biggest problem is that i take people opinion very seriously. I'm a very emotional person, if my friend doesn't talk with me i would think that i did something very wrong and decided to be very quiet to not annoy them any further, if people talk badly about my personality i would be very offended and maybe talk bad about them to myself. So when people laugh at me, i may laugh with them too, but deep inside i just want to run to the toilet and cry myself in there. weeps, i actually did that a few times.

People would laugh at me whenever i try to dance. Like, i would stand up and do some hand gesture and people would be like "omg hahaha stop you look ridiculous dont even try" "she's not my friend, my friend doesnt dance this bad" Why? Because of my appearance, my weight. Obviously i'm very big, but does that mean that i couldn't do anything? inside my friends saying yes Unfortunately this doesn't only happen when i tried to dance, it happen when i tried being pretty too. Have you ever have a friends who just like to insult you just because you were trying on some make up? In public? And when they were trying make up too? I just laughed with them, but i seriously wonder why? why can't i try those make up? Oh my god if you go to sephora you'll see people do a complete make over from the sample there so why? Okay maybe because you're not use to it but YOU were trying on some make up too so WHY? Why me? Why not the other friends who were applying some of the sample lipstick too?

Maybe it was my personality. I tends to make people laugh, because i like to make people laugh. I grew up thinking to myself "make them cry, make them laugh until they cry" because i feel happy seeing them laugh and smiling of joy because of me. You could ask my friends how if i'm funny or not, they probably answer it like "she's the joker of the group" or something like that. It's in my instinct to do funny stuff whenever i can. But other people do that stuff too? Other SKINNY people. They weren't judged by people though? Then why do i get judged?

It's not fair. I have friend who think they're good in dancing when they literally dance like a frog. (Of course i don't shove it to their throat or something lol tho people do that to me about everything) I was like "yeah..... you're totally um............ good" I mean you don't dance like you totally changed the whole choreo and be like "yo thats my style" unless you're planning to embarass yourself infront of every single human on earth i say NO. But she doesn't get any commentary like me, why? Probably because she's skinny. See the difference now? If you're fat and you want to dance then people will judge you. If you normal or skinny and you want to dance people would be like "nah".

Dancing is my way of expressing myself, at least for now, to myself. I don't just dance to some kpop song, i will find some cool sounded song and choreo it myself and forget it the next day. So when people say something about my dancing whether it bad or good, it leave 100 times more impact to myself. If you say my dancing is good you'll see me trying to hold my smile and ended up looking like a crazy ass dog that found some meatballs on the street. That how much it influenced me.

So ladies, gentlemen, i want you to ask yourself if you're reading, have you ever judge someone because of those ridiculous view? It doesn't have to just be about weight or gender, it could be about height too, and their social status and many other things! If you do, i hope you change towards them, it would be even better if you apologize to them. I hope you do.

Xoxo, sasha who is currently emo at 3am. (lol 1 hour of writing this)
Until the next adventure.

empty wallet + eating at hanwoori and meteora

so helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
for those who're in high school or school in general is probably very happy since midterms holiday is here.
not for me v.v no school equal to no allowance equal to no money for me
okay. originally the plan is to collect money and enjoy myself during holiday but i kinda overspent a little i mean A LOT.
well it's a lot to me but i know some people would be like "thats alot? lol" yeah i know im poor :c

the first things that i bought is this Tao's MID file. I originally wanted Tiffany's MrMr file but it sold out v.v

what i like about this file is that it big enough to fit an A4 size paper.
YOU DONT KNOW HOW FRUSTRATED PEOPLE CAN BE WHEN TEACHER HAND OUT WORKSHEET OR PAPER AND IT WONT FIT AND IT CRUMBLE AT THE SIDE. LIKE. WTF.
lol yeah so thats a plus point.
i also got luhan for my  overdose album v.v

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When i'm on diet, i have a habit of searching for article of restaurant and food review.
I stubble upon blog of Han Woori and i searched it menu up suddenly goes "YO GUYS WANT TO EAT THIS THIS WED" and they were like "CYEAH WHY NOT" so we ended up breaking our diet. again.
But for me, fortunately it was my cheat day, cheat day is the day where i eat ANYTHING i want for a break for my diet. So no holding back!

Its kinda big and i heard it could be pack during lunch for fortunately for us, there's not many people that day.
As soon as we enter, the waitress were busy and no one was guiding us to the seat we were like "where do we sit???????" lol soon we get our seat by this kinda angry looking waitress

okay here's the sensitive part, this restaurant DO serve pork, and as a muslim i dont eat pork
but! there's many dish that is eatable for me so its fine, maybe because im not that super strict muslim so i dont mind, and i bought my own chopstick because someone could have eaten pork with that same chopstick and i dont want to rinse it with dirt water so yeah. I kinda just pray for the plate, since i cant do anything about it.
For their lunch set, there's 2 group of price. One is RM16.90 and another is RM19.90.
Both came with side dishes, soup, tea and dessert.

 The side dishes came first and we almost eat all of it even before our meals came LOL

I ordered spicy chicken, it fairly nice, it was spicy but not too spicy until i cant handle it, just the perfect spicy for me. Other might fine it too spicy but since i could tolerate my spice, it was really delicious. It was very fulling too, couldn't even finish the rice so only eat the chicken and leave the rice half full.

My friends ordered Ddeobeokki. Not like the usual one, this one have ramyun in it so it was more fulling. I tried it and omg it was so delicious! Gonna try next time.
Oh, it also came with a hot bowl of kimchi soup, it was very nice.
We also got a bailey juice and watermelon as our dessert.
Result : 2 very stuffed girls. LOOOOL.

and then we're off to meteora for dessert. Even tho we're sooo stuffed LOL.

Couple mask? LOL

The place is very very beautiful and unique. I think their theme is kinda artsy and vintage with a lot of 70s, 80s, 90s related stuff. I especially love the random vintage poster.

 

I ordered cappucino, i dont know why. (actually because of their latte art) i absolutely hate coffee and i was so stupid to order that LOL.

The coffee art was nice but not the best out there.

Also ordered 7 pieces churros and my friend ordered onion ring. The churros is really good and the sauces is okay, really worth the price for me but the onion ring is very expensive for us. It was like, RM7 and only a few pieces, the taste is also not good for me, doesn't taste the onion it was like full on flour.

 

Orz. Sorry for the blurry pictures.

This one space provide all kind of games and prop for selfie.

Played monopoly and ended up being there for 4. FREAKING. HOUR. LOOOL.

We were cursing and laughing very loudly, LOL.

It just came out from our mouth like an automatic machine.

So in the end, it was a very fun day and i have a lot of fun.

Definitely will comeback for both of those places.

Hanwoori for it's reasonable and nice food.

Meteora for it's aura(?) LOL

XOXO, that's all from me for now.

See you in the next adventure!

update on life

so just a quick update

exam been fine
hard but fine (lol does that even make sense) people been great except for a fact that someone cried while i throw eraser at her making the whole class believed it was me who made her cried (WTF SO YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE CRIED BECAUSE OF ERASER LOL)
as usual, i kinda troll around in exam lol thats just myself x.x
i would probably get my album in a few days so imma update for that later
kris leaving really broke my heart but i learned to move on
hey, its HIS decision to leave so i aint gonna trap him in place he doesnt want to be anymore
dont force him in there people, set him free
i considered about leaving for awhile v.v but i need to be here for tao so i stayed :D
i would always be there wherever tao is

yeah i think thats all i could think about lol
thanks for reading!
till the next adventure

xoxo, sasha.

so the past 2 days have been a chaos for the whole (exo) fandom.
and there's some people who still dont know the full story from the beginning so im going to write whatever i know about this alongside with my opinion at the bottom.

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Morning of 15th May 2014, Sina Weibo News posted that Kris is filling lawsuit against SM so the Korean News started to repost it and dig for more news. But then the Seoul Court texted both the C-media and K-media that they haven't received any case for SM entertainment THAT DAY. SM also released a statement saying that they know nothing about this and it's probably a rumour. Sina also released they mistaken someone named CHRIS as KRIS (lol). But later on, a lawyer, confessed that he is a lawyer for Kris's case. That lawyer is the one that handle Hangeng case and he confirmed that kris filled a lawsuit against SM. At this point everyone is confused as fuck, so Korean News tried to search for more info and the found a case with filler(?) named Wu Yi Fan at Seoul Court website. And then people started saying that Kris is just adjusting his contract like Taeyeon/Go Ara did in 2011. But then members started to unfollow Kris on SNS, and then Cassie/EXO fans(that are in both fandom) that have experience all this told us that this is very creepily similar to the DBSK tragedy. That SM will use the members to gain sympathy. And very creepily correct, Suho and Chanyeol soon both express their opinion. Suho by the news, in which he said "Kris should take back the lawsuit and apologize to the members" (i totally not believing this y'know) and Chanyeol by his IG account's update that he posted with a caption "The good will be rewarded and the bad will be punished" The question is which is good and which is bad? And then there's rumor flying that SM is trying to make Kris looked bad by bribing the news and blogger to say bad thing about Kris. And they were talking about how Kris never like Korean culture and he is not used to it. (Again, this is RUMOR) And then Tao's IG update took it to a new level. Tao posted about how much he felt hurt that everyone is siding with the betrayer (Kris) side and that everyone know dont know how they felt. (The other 11, SM staff and etc) He also said that they were in training when they were told that it would only be 11 of them starting now and they have to learn the choreo all over again, that they were mad and frustrated about this. Fans started to wonder which side is right and which is wrong, but then again, people are speculating that SM is the one that posted that. Right after that, Tao posted the exact same messages at his weibo, and he also posted another one with a new caption that said "This is EXO's Tao, no need to hide or doubt. Why would it be other people" but it was deleted a few minutes after. Both of the post. But then fans that managed to screencaps it noticed that the location is in Daejeon. (Daejeon is like villages between the mountain) So it was very suspicious. Fans also noticed that it as posted by android, which Tao usually post by Iphone, but Tao had both android and Iphone. Then Kris friend update his SNS saying that Kris had an issue with his health. This was also supported by another post by a friend and previous trainee of SM. Saying that he could understand Kris and he dont want to see Kris getting emotional overstress and he should take care of himself. He also mentioned that Kris had a problem with his heart.

16th May 2014, I saw a tweet saying that translates a weibo account in which they mention that an anonymous is messaging a blogger to delete all their GOOD post of Kris and they'll pay an amount of money to them. About 12k USD. They also said that they hope SM return the phone to Tao. This however, i dont know if its legit or not as it could be made up. SM then announced that they finally understood Kris lawsuit and will try to solve the problem. Later on, they announced that the concert that supposed to happened the next weekend is still happening and the absent of Kris is not confirmed. They're still trying to contact Kris. They also said that they couldn't get in touch with Kris anymore.

Still 16th May. A cfan made a post on weibo and it got alot of attention, Intl fans were not informed because no one was willing to translate (as far as i know) but @xiuluchenn on twitter was very kind to translated it for me. It said that Kris planned all this with a certain someone. That someone was suspected to be a group or company. The first news is released by Sina, how would they know? They posted the second post later on with a proof, how could they get it that fast? Even SM or the Seoul Court doesn't know anything about it until 11PM in which the lawsuit is finally filed. It could only be that someone planned it. 3rd content, why did they choose 8 days before the concert? Because it would attract huge attention and spotlight on the case. They prepare months and months for this concert only for it to be like this. People said its stupid that Kris choose such an unsuitable time, but that the purpose! Next one said that there's a group of people who are paid to sent comment and stuff in sns to get the fans/audience to support them. When the news came out, you could see a lot of people defending Kris and blaming SM, it could be those paid people. The fans are asked to rethink about who to defend. Next, Kris requested the lawsuit himself without any forced or harm. He could come out to explained or protect his member, but when he didn't come out within 24 hours, its clear that he's sure about all this. This case will make exo promotion drop, there is less than 8 days before the concert and they already planned everything for the VCR and choreo and talk. To redo all this would take a lot of times! Especially VCR, it couldnt be shoot in such a short period of times, and it cost a lot too. In the ticket/concert contract it said that they will have 12 people to perform so if only 11 people perform, SM will have to pay for it. From which money source do you think they would pay it? FROM EXO PAYCHECK. The 11 members did nothing but keeps on practicing and trying their best despite all the injuries and backpain. They waited so much for this but in the end, it all turned into ashes, there's no use. Lastly it basically like a quote? Kris is a wall which support the egg which represent the members. He shouldn't let them fall, like he just made their dreams fall. (REMINDER THIS IS NOT ME ITS A TRANSLATED POST ON WEIBO)

Anyway,
Kris later on updated his weibo and IG. "A small forces against a big power. I'm alright, I wish you all the best, and that things will be even better for you guys. Thanks to all of those who support me, thanks for all your voices of support. Wu Yi Fan will always be here!" He also updated his IG bio to "darkness in my eyes but lights up in the sky"

It kinda goes back and front as usual and people learned to much on, so far no official statement from SM nor Kris so we shall wait.

happy birthday my prince

you're my sunshine

and you're my love

 

you're my escape from the harsh reality

you're a little part of my fantasy

my sweet home

and not last but not least

my prince